CLUB 10 MILE CHAMPIONSHIP - GARSTANG

SATURDAY 7 MAY 2011

No matter what preparation you do there always seems to be something that conspires to defeat your best laid plans when it comes to time trials. In the past I have turned out without shorts, without heart rate monitor strap, taken strap but forgot the monitor, forgot shoes, spare tubes, pump (co2), jersey, socks, computer, incompatible shoes to pedals, drinks.

Of course not all of these at once, so in order not to forget things I keep all my stuff in a large holdall, it is always at the ready with the main necessities for racing and time trials. I once took all I needed, did not forget anything but as the time trial was about to start, the battery on my computer died, ok I still got to ride but a computer is very handy for telling you are doing crap on the way round.

So what went wrong today? Well I prepared well in advance this time, carefully went through everything, cracked it.

I arose and prepared my first dose of carbs, porridge, a trip into town to pick up a couple of high energy drinks, back home and have my second loading of carbs, a big, big rice pudding.

With my start time of around three forty five I worked out my schedule, plenty of time, I'll have a quiet snooze. No, I didn't oversleep, the time to pack my gear into the car came, I anticipated arriving at the headquarters an hour and a half before my start time, time to get ready, time for a nice long warm up.

Pick up my bag and take to the car, ah the keys are in the house, back in the house the keys are no where to be found. The hunt begins.

Look in the wheelie bin, I've thrown them in with rubbish before now, look in the kitchen bin, ditto. Retrace my actions on leaving the car, nothing.

Had they slipped down the side of the chair as I had a coffee, no, upstairs downstairs in the maidens chamber, no. Had they slipped out of my pocket whilst having a nap on the settee, nope.

By now time was getting on and I was beginning to lose my marbles, shortly it would be too late to go, I rang Pete Lane to ask him to offer my apologies to the organiser if I didn't get there, Pete had already left. Then a truly EUREKA moment, the keys were in my jeans pocket at the side of my wallet, what a wally, after turning the house upside down They were in my pocket the whole time.

Desperation of a different kind now, time, any hold ups on the motorway, however small would put my ride in jeopardy, it had also been my intention to fuel up for the trip but now I had no time.

On the motorway my little micra had never moved so fast with me on board, neither had my fuel gauge, it rocketed toward empty, jeez surely not. Fortunately the motorway was clear all the way up to Broughton, another hotspot for delays at the lights, but I sailed through with no trouble. All the while I was clock watching, barring hold-ups I would just make it but would have to forego a decent warm up. On approaching the headquarters another problem sprang into my head, oh no, I've forgotten my track pump!! All I need. Cyclist are a friendly lot, some kind soul will lend me one.

I ran into the hall and signed on and collected my number, ran out and got into my skinsuit, time was running very short, right a pump for my tyres and I am ready. I approached a guy warming up on his turbo trainer, 'have you a track pump I could borrow please' His reply staggered me a bit, 'why does everybody come and ask me for a track pump' he was definitely not a happy chappie but he grudgingly got off his turbo trainer and reached into his van and offered me a choice of two track pumps. It would seem everybody knows he has two track pumps, hence everybody asking him.

On returning the pump expressing many thanks the same surly response was grunted, despite his surliness I was extremely grateful.

Right I could now make my way to the start area, I would make it with about five minutes or so, the ride to the start from the headquarters, about two miles would have to do for a warm up but since I always warm up slowly it would hardly suffice.

Making my way to the start I noticed the wind had become very strong, my heart was already in my boots, I didn't really need this, but, the honour of the club is at stake, this is the club championship 'ten'.

'Five four three two one, GO!!' I went, and with that strong wind I mentioned well and truly behind it was a good start.

The flightdeck on my tribars indicated a fast start, the heart rate monitor indicated a flashing red light before the first mile had gone, already I was in the red, sod it carry on. With a pulse of 180 and rising I decided to let it rise, I had to make the most of the wind on the way to the turn, I'll die on the way back anyway.

The drag seemed endless, at first I thought it not too bad then all at once the legs got slower and slower, heart rate higher and higher, now at 186-7-8. Somehow I managed to make it to the finish and gasped my number to the timekeeper.

On the way back to headquarters I never even looked at the cockpit, never stopped the stop watch or heart rate monitor, why bother, I don't want to know about crap times.

On reaching the HQ Pete Lane greeted me, 'how have you done?' no idea is my reply, but probably rubbish.

I stow my bike back in the car and take out the sheet of time trial entries and pen to record our times and of course the winner of the event, enter the hall, get a cup of tea and a cake and hand back in my number.

As I study the field of riders and times recorded, the times have not yet been put up on the results sheet, well not the ones I wanted, mine and Pete's primarily.

I look at the sheet and I am confused, not for the first time in my life attending time trials, something is not quite right. The board listing competitors and my list are not the same, I had checked my start time, number 39, my list and the board concur, I am number 39, then I see a guy on the list who is not even entered, the penny drops, this is last years list of entries. The answer to this totally escapes me, I am number 39 on both, what a coincidence.

Once I realise that the entries posted through my email are the wrong ones I am happy with that. I went back to my car to find some money for a donation to the refreshment bar, another piece of cake beckons.

Pete Lane then tells me I have done 28 minutes 30 seconds, I am dumbfounded, how can that be, I died on the way back and in dying had made a three minute improvement on my last time trial. More confusion. Pete has done a 27.10. and under the circumstances, his present state of fitness, he is reasonably happy, after all he is the new club ten mile champion and I have once again obtained a silver.

So you see, time trials can be a bit more adventurous than just hurting your legs, they can be quite entertaining when looking back, get out there and give it a go. Report by Tony Bowles